Fruitcake Corner

According to the Associated Press via the Jerusalem Post, a senior Iranian cleric has asserted that women who wear immodest clothing and ‘behave promiscuously’ are to blame for earthquakes. Table-dancers in Teheran? Surely not…
No jest, people. Unlike previous posts, this one isn’t a spoof. It was in the Daily Telegraph as well, so it has to be true.

Iran, as we know, is earthquake – prone. The cleric’s unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad  (aka President Fruitcake) that a quake is ‘certain to hit Teheran’ at some unspecified time and that up to five million of its inhabitants – about 40% – should relocate. Where to? The Negev, perhaps?
“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity (they should be so lucky)  and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted by media sources in Iran.
Sedighi is Teheran’s acting Friday prayer leader. It is rumoured that he shows a lot of hair and has dandruff. The guy has a lot of frown lines – he needs to smile more.
I wonder what the CFPL (chief Friday prayer leader) had to say…Probably something about the decadent West reaping the whirlwind for its shameless moral turpitude by having all its flights cancelled.
Women in Iran are required by law to cover from head to toe, but many, especially the young, ignore some of the stricter codes and wear tight coats and scarves pulled back that show much of the hair. Public stonings take place on Fridays. Tickets only, please. Ladies – usual dress code applies. The caption reads..’yeah, whatever’.

“What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?” Sedighi asked, ironically, during a prayer sermon on Friday. “There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.” Ah. Of course. Why didn’t I think of that…

Today is Independence Day in Israel or Yom Haatzmaut. L’chaim, Yerushalayim! I have said the evening shema for you tonight.

2 thoughts on “Fruitcake Corner

  1. Yes, extremes are such a challenge to parody that it is always difficult to part the truth from the spoof…unless the spoof shows a little bit too much humour or dandruff…
    I remember, about 15 years ago, hilarious parodies of Martha Stewart Living that were hardly exagerated. One of them was inspired by her famous agenda :
    Tuesday, October 15th,
    morning : planting 3000 yellow tulips
    afternoon : baking fruitcake for 1000 people at local church party
    Wednesday, October 16th, trekking to Annapurna with Dalaï Lama and John-PaulII…etc

    I found the parody could hardly beat these 2 authentic topics :
    how to fold and dispose of a spangled banneer, i.e. burn it “with dignity”
    beautifully styled still lifes with dog's hair brushes

    Then Martha responded brillantly with that great self parody commercial :
    For American Express, she stood at the bottom of an empty pool tiled with a huge Boticelli's “Birth of Venus” made with a patchwork of credits cards…


  2. Clearly we could could spend a lot of time trolling the Net for spoofable weirdness. It could take up all our time and we'd never catch it all. Mind you, I find the little bit I do see to be alternately amusing or astounding. Sort of like my own personal version of 'The Daily Show.'
    L'chaim Israel! indeed.


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