The Pleasures of the Queue

No. I won’t. I will not queue to see Harry Blotter and the Ghastly Shallows Part The First accompanied by squeaking juveniles in winter dishdashas. Even if it is in 3D IMAX. At the 360 Mall. At least the queue was well-behaved, shuffling obediently forward for the 2.30 showing. Unlike the despicable events in the queue at the US premiere.  

That barometer of taste and decency, Holy Moly, put it so well…

As hundreds of fans queued up for a stupid amount of time for tonight’s premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, one man got a bit too excited and got arrested for exposing himself to the young girls in the queue. It was made all the odder by him looking like a wizard, which was probably all part of his devious plan.

Ah. Excellent. I myself was several thousand miles away, thus cannot be held responsible.

It’s probably too obvious to suggest that he’d turned up looking for his wand to go Slytherin’ up a wizard’s sleeve, (oh, please…)or that he may have Genital Hogwarts, or (That’s enough of that – Ed) Obviously this a creepy and despicable act, but I loved the fact that he looks EXACTLY like a baddy from Harry Potter and whilst I certainly wouldn’t wish a pervert like this on young people… Some of them really are old enough to know better.

I was tempted to add an image at this point, but the perpetrator looked uncomfortably like me. Except for the nose and the eyes.

It’s quite a puzzle to me since I still find myself creeping back to Hogwart’s in moments of (minor) crisis, wondering which character I most resemble. Is it Grumblebore or Griphook the Goblin? I think Harry’s wandwork is so much more orchestral in the books and seeing him fizzling Death Eaters and other associated crepuscular organisms is much less riveting than reading about it. And, no, I didn’t go, so if you were expecting a witty and well-crafted review, there’s a million of them on the Net. I shall wait until the froth has subsided and good seats are obtainable in the Bachelor’s Section. The Gipsy laughed at me. I shall go alone, much as Lisa Marie Presley ought to have done. She’s the one on the right.


Much as I am certain to derive some quietly expressed amusement from the flying broomsticks, I do think my tastes are a little subtler these days. Russian Kusmi tea from Paris and Nespresso coffee. Passing the Nespresso shop in the 360 prompted a look at this. GC and JM, plus a couple of hotties. Oh, yeah.
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2 thoughts on “The Pleasures of the Queue

  1. An orderly queue in Kuwait? I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you. “Squeaking juveniles” minding their manners is a rarity in any country, though one can no longer consider Mz Presley a juvenile no matter how hard one squints.
    I have not seen any of the Harry Potter offerings except Part The First back when Daniel Radcliffe was an innocent pre-adolescent just waiting to be cast in Caligula.
    Besides, I don't queue for any movie…I buy my ticket online and I always do the VIP showing. Not a squeaking juvenile in sight.
    The Gipsy was right to laugh…one must not take the foibles of a Melancholic with too much gravity or one's life becomes completely proscribed by said eccentricities. No. Thank you. =)

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  2. “I don't queue…” How uncharacteristically lacking in spontaneity. As for VIP showings – one meets such interesting people when slumming. You should try it sometime.
    I'll let you know what it's like. Watch this space.
    Additionally, I had wondered whether George Clooney and John Malkovich in heaven might have provoked a suitably Baptist response, but, no. How very disappointing.

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