Category: bees

Bee Wars

As the pool guys sculpt the edges of our new baptistry, an afterword on the bees. You’ll remember that choking them with foam seemed to enrage them and gentle persuasion met with the apian equivalent of the finger. A combination of additional strategies has resulted in, if not a truce, then at least a stand-off. The bees from the ground floor have departed, thanks to a number of complementary approaches, not least being the provision of the equivalent of a 50mm cannon in the shape of a ‘firemen only’ spray so powerful that it actually had a perceptible recoil. A jet of airborne chemical ordnance dropped a thousand at a time from a distance of nearly six metres and any stragglers seemed to have run out of fight.
They, and the remains of their homes, were unceremoniously evicted, shovelled out in a vast, sticky black and gold mass, each hexagon containing new larvae. The pile was large enough to fill two household buckets and the detailed construction was admirable. Expandable foam inside the walls deterred any would-be architects from adding to the tower inside, also preventing curious rodents from investigating. The large hole at the base – originally a drain hole for the pump – opened by the firemen, has been cemented closed and any unfortunates left inside will experience the same fate as the Nun of Monza. 

It was not long, however, before a new squadron of Republican Guard had formed a skirmish line at a much higher altitude, much like an addiction seeks a new disguise in the psyche of a vulnerable personality. They find their way in through the smallest of emotional apertures. Likewise, a bee can enter an orifice less than 3mm in diameter, thus preventing all access would require the whole house to be hermetically sealed like a submarine. I’ll be interested to see what my psych friends make of the analogy. It remains to be seen if the scouting party has given the thumbs up to a newly crowned queen, although industrious buzzing behind the upper walls is not encouraging. At some future date, the demolition squad will no doubt be called upon again. But, for now, order is restored and the way cleared for the next tranche of workmen to clear the ground, fill the trenches and start laying the decking. Huzza.
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